Bournemouth's hosting of West Ham this weekend promises to be a classic. I promise.
We know this because neither of these sides are capable of doing 'dull' this year. It's all or nothing.
Incidentally, it's either all or nothing when it comes to stats. If you don't know them all, you don't know naathing, sunshine. So, courtesy of Opta, here's your statistical care package just in time for the weekend's encounter.
Unbeatable Bournemouth
At least in their last five league games - which, let's be honest, are all that matter - Bournemouth are unbeatable against West Ham.
The Cherries have won their last three against the Hammers in the league, drawing twice, and haven't lost since August 2016. In other news, Steve Cook has joined D-Generation X. Good luck to him.
Goalfest
Forget Oktoberfest, the only festival you should be heading to this weekend is the one at the Vitality, aka the Goalfest!
That's right, the last four Premier League meetings between Bournemouth and West Ham at the Vitality Stadium have produced a whopping 17 goals - nine for the home side, eight for the Hammers.
Happy Hunting
Against no other side have Bournemouth
Happy hunting.
Second Half Saviours
When it comes to Bournemouth vs West Ham, here's a trade secret: you needn't watch the first half.
That's because 22 of the 30 goals scored in Premier League games between the two have been scored in the second half (73%), including 10 of the last 11. It's that simple.
Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show
This is the trailer for Quentin Tarantino's 9th film 'Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood'. You've probably seen it. Well, about halfway through it, Neil Diamond's bona fide yet somehow lost banger 'Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show' comes on.
And it perfectly encapsulates the Irons away form.
Yes, after previously going on a run of seven defeats in eight away Premier League games (W0 D1 L7), West Ham are now unbeaten in their last five on the road in the competition (W3 D2).
They last had a longer unbeaten away run in the top-flight in January 2009 (7 games). Which leads us to...
The Liverpool Comparison
Yes, that's right, only Liverpool, the Premier League champions-elect, with a 23-game streak, are currently on a longer unbeaten run in the Premier League than the Hammers, with that famous five-game streak.
Make of that what you will.
Wilson's Way
Callum Wilson vs West Ham. It's a happy combo, at least for the forward.
Wilson has scored six goals in six Premier League appearances against Manuel Pellegrini's side – more than he has against any other opponent.
Pellegrini's Percentage
Here's Manuel Pellegrini in his natural habitat - enveloped by bubbles. He just loves the soap-derived marvels. And they love him.
We know this because, with 18 wins from 44 Premier League games, the Chilean has the best win rate of any permanent West Ham manager in the competition (41%), beating out such prestigious Alans as Curbishley and Pardew.
Source : 90min