News so far and predictions for the rest of the year

June 2009


Tony Mowbray says he feels "hugely
honoured" after being appointed Celtic's new manager .

Mowbray, 45, told a media conference at Celtic Park that he was relishing the challenge of bringing silverware to the Glasgow club. A West Brom fan is overheard to say, "Challenge ? Managing Celtic ? F**k me even Gordon Strachan was made to look like a good manager when he was there. It's about as challenging as playing chess with George Bush or arm-wrestling Kate Moss !"


Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce tries to sign Kevin Davies from Bolton.


West Ham are linked with Eidur Gudjohnsen for the seventh close-season in succession. Interestingly Eidur is listed as being 30 years old, also for the seventh season in succession.


Nicklas Bendtner is spotted with his girlfriend in Rome so rumours fly about a transfer from Arsenal to Roma but the rumours are rubbished by his agent.


Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce tries to sign ex Bolton player Kevin Nolan from Newcastle.


West Ham are also linked with Mario Balotelli and a youtube video displays his many talents.


Michael Owen is spotted with his wife in Paris so rumours fly about him signing for Paris St.Germain but the rumours are rubbished by his agent.


Newcastle United's board issue a press release promising their fans that they are sorry for the embarrassment they have inflicted on their wonderful, loyal and passionate fans and promise that they will do everything they can to restore their pride in their club.


Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce tries to sign Nicky Hunt from Bolton.


Newcastle United release pictures of their new away kit which is a hideous fluorescent orange with yellow stripes.

No, really !


West Ham are also linked with Luis Jiminez and a youtube video displays his many talents.


Newcastle United appoint Denis Wise as their manager with Kevin Keegan coming in as Director Of Football.


Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce tries to sign Mathew Davies from Bolton.

West Ham are also linked with Brazillian midfielder Mancini and a youtube video displays his many talents.


Frank Lampard is spotted in Kentucky (Fried Chicken) with a family bucket and rumours fly about him being a fat, useless two-faced w*nker. His agent was unavailable for comment.


West Ham are also linked with Robert Acquafresca and a youtube video displays his many talents.

Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce tries to sign Gavin McCann from Bolton.

West Ham sue the owners of youtube over the video of Julian Faubert, citing a violation of the trade descriptions act.

Blackburn Rovers boss Sam Allardyce tries to sign Fabrice Muamba from Bolton.

"The last time anybody had a captain as inept as this was in 1912" said a Wigan fan referring to his club's decision to put Titus Bramble at the helm.